he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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