I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
