I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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