that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
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