I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
