I seem to have left my pride at pride
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
