I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
