YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
