We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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