Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
