Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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