Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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