That's when you crack a 10am beer
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
