I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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