Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize