I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
