I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
