I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
