I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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