My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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