I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
