I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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