It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
do nipples grow back?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize