So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
