I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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