Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
