I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
