conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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