if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
