i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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