my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
