I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
