girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
