I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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