she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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