Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
