Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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