did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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