You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
