One girl and one boy is just not enough.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
