3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
