i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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