I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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