i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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