Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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