Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He shit in the fireplace
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
