can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.