im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.