Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets