I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?