...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
