Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That accounts for only three of the penises
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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