she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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