barbara walters just said penis...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
of course. lets lasso hookers.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
