It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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