you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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