similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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