actually, I'm a sock model
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
