just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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