I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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