Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
