He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Blood and glitter go together right?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Congratulations! We have a period
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