It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I cut my penus on the lid.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
